


Memories

by MagicalMoon



Series: Aylen and Anya [6]
Category: Star Trek: Voyager
Genre: Cute, Emotional, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, F/M, Fluff, Grief/Mourning, Kid Fic, Love, Parenthood, Romance, dealing with grief
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-03-30
Updated: 2019-04-08
Packaged: 2019-12-27 01:11:04
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 6
Words: 7,375
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18293807
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MagicalMoon/pseuds/MagicalMoon
Summary: Aylen and Chakotay have a father/daughter weekend. While Kathryn spends time with Anya and learns a few things about being a mother.





	1. "Where Are We Going?"

**Author's Note:**

> I needed a bit more "Aylen and Anya" in my life so here ya go. 
> 
> There is non-graphic sexual content at the very beginning. Read at your own discretion
> 
> As always, these characters do not belong to me I'm just having some fun. No Copyright intended

“Papa please tell me where we’re going.” 

“Nope, not until Saturday.” 

The young girl crossed her arms and huffed “but Saturday is so far away!” 

Her father chuckled and shook his head “Aylen, it’s Thursday almost Friday. I think you can wait another day.” 

“Fine” she responded with disappointment then she looked at her papa sweetly “can I have a hint ?” 

“If I give you a hint will you go to bed ?” He asked with hope

Aylen nodded “I promise.” 

“We will be outside the whole time.” 

She gasped excitedly “is it the beach!” 

“No” 

“The farm!” 

“No” 

Before she could yell out another guess Chakotay put his hand up “you promised” 

She sighed in defeat “I know I know” after Chakotay tucked her in he placed a kiss on her forehead “I love you, sweetheart.” 

Aylen closed her eyes “I love you too Papa.” 

 

Chakotay plopped down next his wife “that little girl will be the death of me.” 

Kathryn took her glasses off “still bugging you about Saturday ?” 

“You know it” after giving his wife a chaste kiss he went into their bathroom to get ready for bed. Kathryn saw him take his top off and she couldn’t help but smirk. He was the most handsome man she had ever laid eyes. As of lately, Kathryn couldn’t get enough of him. When Chakotay noticed Kathryn eyeing him up and down, he smiled smugly which Kathryn saw through the mirror. A few moments later he laid next to her in bed. She ran her hand down his bare chest. 

“You’re so smooth” she commented absentmindedly. He took her hand and kissed her wrist, palm and each finger. “you are my life beloved” he whispered as he stroked her soft cheek. Kathryn leaned into his touched and sighed “as you are mine, always.” 

For the next few moments, they kissed languidly and held each other in a warm embrace. Until they fell asleep still holding each other. 

In the middle of the night, the couple was woken up by crying. When Kathryn looked down, she saw Anya who was crying and holding her arms out. She grabbed the crying baby and held her to her chest. “What’s wrong my Anya.” 

“Mama” she cried hysterically. 

Chakotay sat up, concerned about his youngest daughter’s cries. 

“Moster !” Anya cried 

Kathryn and Chakotay glanced at each other and tried not to laugh. He smiled at his wife “I know exactly what to do” Chakotay walked into the kitchen and replicated a spray bottle. Then he met His wife and Anya in her nursery. After a few minutes, Anya let her mother put her on the ground. Chakotay kneeled down to her level and took her hand in his, and together they sprayed the homemade “monster repellent” under the crib 

“Say bye bye monster” Anya rubbed her eyes “bye bye moster,” she said sleepily. Chakotay lifted her and placed her back into her crib. Both her parents placed a kiss on Anya’s forehead and went back to their own room. It was 05:00 and Chakotay would have to start getting ready for work at 07:00. They settled back in their bed. Just as Kathryn was about to fall asleep, she felt a warm hand slip under her top and trail up her body until his finger brushed over a pebbling nipple. 

“Mmm, I’m trying to sleep.” 

He moved his hands down to her damp curls and stroked her there. “Part of your body disagrees.” Kathryn tried to hide her playful grin but was unsuccessful. He lifted up the hem of her shirt and pressed his lips against her flat stomach and placed a trail of kisses up her body until he reached her breasts. 

Kathrynn’s eyes fluttered shut as her husband intimately caressed her. When it seemed like she couldn’t take anymore, she found herself being rolled over, so Chakotay was above her. The look of desire in his eyes was primal. Kathryn ran her fingers through his hair and wrapped her legs around his waist. Silently letting him know that she wanted him and wanted him now. The initial thrust always threw her for a surprise, but it didn’t take long for them to find a rhythm that would bring them both pleasure. As they approached their releases, they silenced each other’s moans using passionate kisses. Sleep overtook them soon after. 

~

“Mommy” 

“Yes, baby?” 

“Do you know where Papa and I are going tomorrow ?” 

Kathryn smirked as she poured Aylen a bowl of cereal. “Yes, I do !” 

“Can you tell me !” 

She placed the bowl in front of the young girl and kissed her forehead “nope.” 

The young girl pouted “fine” she grumbled before taking a bite of her cheerios. 

Kathryn chuckled and went to check on Anya, but Papa beat her to it. Chakotay was pulling a yellow t-shirt with a pink butterfly over the little girl’s head. Anya smiled brightly when she saw her mommy. She walked over and gave her husband a chaste kiss before picking up their daughter who hugged her mother tightly. She ran her fingers through Anya’s messy light brown hair and kissed each of her chubby cheeks. 

“Thank you for getting her dressed. I wasn’t even sure if she was awake yet.” 

“She was waking up when I checked on her, and she saw me. There was no going back.”   
Chakotay threw away Anya’s dirty diaper and put her pj’s in her laundry basket as Kathryn brushed out Anya’s hair. 

“Oh, by the way, Aylen’s bag is packed, and it’s in your car. What time are you picking her up ?” Kathryn made sure to whisper just Incase Aylen was coming down the hall. 

“Well, my class ends at noon so probably around 12:30, I sent a message to her teacher yesterday letting her know that I will be picking her up early. As for as I know Aylen still thinks we’re leaving tomorrow morning.” 

Kathryn smiled “sounds good my love.” He gave her one last kiss before going to the kitchen to say goodbye to Aylen. Once he left for work, Aylen got dressed, and a half hour later the girls were out the door. 

~

“Mommy, what are you and Anya going to do this weekend?” Aylen asked as she tickled her little sister’s belly. 

Through the shrieks, Kathryn responded “I’m not sure. We may go to the park or visit GG. I also would like to start potty training her.” 

“Are you gonna miss me ?” 

Kathryn gave her a quick glance through the rearview mirror. “Of course my darling, you and Anya are my loves, and without you two I’m not complete.” 

“What about Papa?” The young girl challenged teasingly. 

Kathryn couldn’t help but roll her eyes “of course I love your Papa. I have for a very long time and I always will.” 

Aylen smiled satisfied with her answer “I’m happy you and Papa are married.” 

While Aylen was walking to the front entrance at school, Kathryn watched her with feelings of unconditional love.

~~~

It was 12:30 and Aylen was eating her lunch when Chakotay walked into her classroom. She didn’t notice at first, but when she did, the young girl ran up and gave him a hug. He lifted her up making her giggle. 

“Where’s your school bag?”

She pointed to her cubby, and without putting Aylen down, he grabbed it. 

“Papa, why am I going home now?” 

“Well, baby girl we’re not going home. I lied about our trip.” 

Chakotay saw her radiant smile disappear and tears form in her eyes. “Don’t cry my love we are still going. But we’re leaving today instead of tomorrow!” 

She perked up with excitement “Really!” 

“Yes really! Now we need to go, out transport leaves in an hour.” 

As they drove to the transport station, Aylen continued to ask where they were going. To which Chakotay replied that she would find out very soon. He was taking her somewhere that meant very much to him and was hoping at the end of the trip would mean a lot to her too. 

About an hour later they arrived at a small town in Arizona. The sky showed colors of yellow and orange as the sun began to set over the desert. It was late, and he could tell Aylen was getting tired. 

“Where are we Papa?” his daughter yawned. 

“This is where both your Mama and I grew up.” 

Aylen nodded and fell asleep as he carried her to where they would be staying. 

It was a small cabin with two bedrooms and one bathroom. There were a kitchen and a living room. It was the perfect place for a small family to live in. Chakotay laid his daughter on the bed in one of the rooms before walking around. The cabin was so reminiscent of where he and his late wife lived with their tiny little girl. He checked on Aylen then went into his room and grabbed his medicine bundle. It has been almost two years since he had used it. Chakotay thought back to the time Nara came to him and assured him that it was okay that he further his relationship with Kathryn. Despite being married to Kathryn and having a daughter with her, that didn't mean he no longer loved Nara. He knew he would always love her as well as miss her. Their love gave him the most beautiful gift. Aylen.


	2. Another Vision

A few months ago he and Kathryn were laying down one night when she asked him if he talked to Aylen about her mother. He told her not really. Chakotay didn’t see the point. Aylen didn’t ask about her and was too young to remember her. That wasn’t the whole truth, and Kathryn knew that. 

“ I think you talking to Aylen about her mother and where she was born and raised for a few years will help you heal. I don’t want Aylen to forget about her mother. She was a wonderful woman who loved Aylen with all her being. She deserves to know that.” 

Chakotay nodded silently as the pain, and the grief he pushed away came back “She did” he said softly. 

Kathryn saw the pain in his face and gathered him towards her. “Take a weekend. Show her where she came from. Tell her about the woman who her Papa loved and birthed her.” 

That next day during his lunch break he rented a small cabin and bought transport tickets. 

~

He spread the medicine bundle out on the rug. He down and took a deep breath. And closed his eyes “Speak to me, Nara Speak to me in my dreams.”

Like last time he felt calm and peaceful, but this time when he opened his eyes, he was not on a beach. Instead, he was in the desert exactly where he and Aylen were now. He was met with a bright smile from his late wife who looked breathtaking with her black locks flowing down her white sundress. Nara’s dark brown eyes sparkled from the setting sun. 

“Chakotay, you have grown older since I last saw you.” She teased 

He chuckled and shook his head. He missed her sense of humor and how she made him laugh. “You look as beautiful as ever.” 

“Charmer” Nara accused before becoming more serious “Now tell me Chakotay why are you here?” 

”I’ve taken Aylen to Arizona. To the place where we have grown up and where she was born. I want to tell her about our love and about her mother who loves her very much.” 

Nara gave him a sweet smile “this wasn’t all your idea though, it was Kathryn’s.” 

Chakotay nodded his head knowing he couldn’t deny it. 

“You are hurting, the grief is overcoming you once again. Why?” 

He shrugged. Of course, he knew the grief was a part of him and that it would be etched in him forever. Then he thought of the sleeping girl and her long dark hair and brown eyes. “I think it’s Aylen. She looks so much like you. Some of the things she says or does remind me so much of you.” 

The woman took his hands in her own “that is a good thing. Let her be a reminder that I am with you and her always. Rather than being sad embrace those little moments. Do not be in pain. You have a beautiful wife and two beautiful little girls and who knows maybe there will be more.” This she said with a smirk. She then wiped the tears he didn’t know he had shed. “I was such a wonderful part of your life as you were of mine. Let go of this grief, my love. Use this time with Aylen heal you. You, Aylen, Kathryn and Anya are being protected and loved by the spirits.” She gave him a soft kiss on his cheek before disappearing. 

This time when he opened his eyes, he saw darkness with the moon providing a little bit of light. After putting away his medicine bundle and finishing his tea, he went to sleep.


	3. Motherhood

He woke up at 08:00 and made eggs and turkey bacon for himself and Aylen. As he was putting the food on the plate, his daughter came in rubbing her eyes. 

“Good morning my love.” 

She took a sip of apple juice and sat at the table. “What are we doing today ?” 

“There are some places I want you to see, but first come sit next to me. I have something to show you.” In Chakotay’s hands was a photo album. He hadn’t looked at these photos in years. It was on his bookshelf collecting dust. He felt a twinge of guilt for never showing Aylen before now. These photos are the only thing she has to remember her mother by. Once the young girl was settled beside him, he opened the album to reveal the first photograph. 

It was one of Nara laughing as she tried to catch her floppy brimmed hat which was flying away. This was on their third date. They spent the afternoon on a secluded beach drinking, talking and just enjoying each other’s company. He warned her not to wear the floppy hat, but she didn’t listen. From that day on every time they went to the beach she wore that hat. One of the things he kept after Nara passed was that hat. 

“Did Mama ever catch her hat?” 

“As a matter of fact, she did. I still have that hat you know.” 

Aylen’s eyes widened “can I see?” 

“I don’t have it with, but I’ll show you when we get home.” 

Satisfied with that answer she turned the page. The next photo was of both Chakotay and Nara on their wedding day. She was wearing a long white sundress while he wore a white button-down shirt and Khaki colored pants. Their heads were pressed together as they danced. 

He thought back to his wedding with Nara. They kept it small and intimate. Nara’s long flowy white dress and crown of baby breaths made her look like a forest fairy. Her hair was curled and wore little to no makeup. His emotions from that day were indescribable. The feelings he was experiencing at this moment were equally as indescribable. 

“She looked like a princess,” Aylen said in awe. 

Chakotay kissed Aylen on the top of her head “you are beautiful just like her.” 

The next photo was of Nara beaming in excitement while holding an ultrasound photo. 

Chakotay remembered this day vividly. It was the day he found out he would be a father. Nara wasn’t feeling well for a few days and eventually after nagging her enough she went to the doctor. A few days later he came home finding her sitting at the kitchen table looking the cat that got the cream. That was when he saw the first photo of their daughter. At the time they didn’t know she was a girl but either way, he and Nara were elated. 

His daughter pointed to the picture Nara was holding “what’s that?” 

He smiled “that my love is you.” 

“Ohhh” She responded with understanding. “Mommy has a picture like that of Anya.” 

“Did Mama grow like Mommy did ?” 

Chakotay chuckled “oh yes she did. You were also very active.” 

“As active as Anya ?” 

“I think you moved more than Anya but only by a little. It seems that both my daughters couldn’t stay still and they still can’t.” I blame that on your Mama and Mommy. Neither of them could stay still for two seconds. 

Aylen giggled at that knowing that he was right about her Mommy. 

They flipped through the rest of the album. When they saw the photo of Aylen as a baby, she couldn’t believe how much she and her sister looked alike. Most of the pictures from there on out were of Aylen. The last photo, however, was of both Aylen who was two and Nara. They were holding hands walking through a field of flowers. The change in Aylen’s demeanor didn’t go unnoticed. 

“Papa, can you tell me more about Mama?” 

~

Kathryn sighed in defeat. All morning she had been chasing Anya around attempting to have her use the potty. The toddler walked around without pants so if she needed to go to the bathroom there would be little to no delay. The plan seemed foolproof, so She thought. However, every time she put Anya on the potty, she would get up and run away. At first, she assumed her daughter was afraid of the toilet, but then she noticed Anya would giggle as she ran. It seemed that the little girl has made this into a game. A very messy game. 

Within the last three hours, Anya had peed all over the kitchen floor. Which Kathryn expected. What she didn’t expect was Anya peeing on her. When she went to go change her shirt, Anya followed leaving a trail of poop behind her. Kathryn forgot all about the pee stained shirt and cleaned up the other mess her daughter had made. This patterned continued for the next hour until Kathryn finally called it quits. 

Kathryn gave Anya a bath and let her play with her bath toys for a bit longer than usual in hopes that it would tire her out. Once the little girl began yawning Kathryn dried her up and dressed her in a pajama shirt and diaper before laying her down in her crib. As soon as her head hit the pillow, Anya was asleep. As she slept, Kathryn took the opportunity to take a shower and make herself a cup of coffee. 

She knew she needed help. Potty training Anya seemed to be impossible. Fortunately, she had someone she could consult with. 

“Hi, mom.” 

Gretchen beamed “hello darling, how are you ?” 

“I need help,” she told her mother with dismay. 

“Oh ?” The older woman responded in amusement “what seems to be the problem.” 

“I can’t potty train, Anya. She has peed and pooped all over the kitchen floor, multiple times might I add and she has also peed and pooped on me.” 

Gretchen bit her lip trying not to laugh the look of despair on her daughter’s face was too much to bear. 

“Mom this isn’t funny !” she shouted in frustration.

Gretchen grinned sweetly “Welcome to motherhood Katie girl.” 

“So can you help me or not ?” she whined. 

“I may have a few tricks up my sleeve.” 

Kathryn rolled her eyes “please do share.” 

“Don’t roll your eyes at me Kathryn Janeway or you can keep getting peed on till the cows get home.” 

She huffed “I apologize now, please help me, mom.” 

“Well first off, make sure she knows what the potty is and pay attention to her. Observe her cues she'll tell you if she’s going to the bathroom. Remove her pants and diaper, so she has easier access to the toilet.” 

“I’ve done that” Kathryn interrupted 

Gretchen held up her hand “now let me finish, make it a routine. Every 15-20 minutes put her on the potty even if she doesn’t have to go. This means both day and night.” 

“Every time I put her own the toilet she runs away and ends up going on the floor!” 

“When she does that” Gretchen continued, point it out to her and tell her she has made an accident and that she has to go on the potty. Physically take her there and point to it.” 

Kathryn nodded “well that helps with the accidents but what about the running away?”

“Is she afraid of the toilet ?” 

“No, it’s like a game to her.” 

“Okay, then beat her at her own game” Gretchen smirked. “Chase her around a little and try to make it to the toilet before her. If she’s anything like her mommy, she likes some competition.” 

The younger Janeway groaned for the 100th time that day “that’s exhausting.” 

“Like I said Katie girl, welcome to motherhood.”


	4. Giving Faith a Fighting Chance

Chakotay nodded “go get dressed, and we’ll go on a walk. It’s beautiful out.” Aylen smiled and ran to her bedroom “Don’t forget to brush your teeth.” 

“Okay!” She shouted 

As Chakotay was cleaning up from Breakfast, he heard a call coming through his computer. He prayed it wasn’t for work. He explicitly told his other colleagues that he was not to be disturbed this weekend unless it was an emergency. When he saw the name “Kathryn Janeway” he answered the incoming call immediately. 

His wife was sitting at their kitchen holding Anya who was playing with her stuffed targ. “Hello my love, how’s everything going.”   
before he had a chance to respond Anya’s large beautiful eyes looked at the screen and pointed “dada!” she said to her mother excitedly.

“Hello, my baby girl he said softly” He gave them a dimpled smile “It’s beautiful here. I was showing Aylen some pictures of Nara at; first, she was curious, but then her emotion changed. For the first time in my life, I have no clue what she was feeling.” 

“I’m sure she is experiencing feelings and  
emotions that up to this point was unknown to her. All you can do is encourage her to release those feelings and show them to you.” 

“You would make a great therapist.” 

Kathryn smiled sadly “unfortunately I’ve had my fair share of therapists. I saw one after my experience on the Al-Batani. Then after my father and Justin died, I saw another one who I wasn’t particularly fond of. Then after Voyager, I was forced to see a therapist, but in the end, it was one of the best things I have ever done. For the first time in my life, I was ready to get help. I was told I should no longer bottle up my emotions and to just let them run their course.” 

Chakotay’s heart broke for his wife. She had gone through so much. She got captured by the Cardassians and did who knows what to her. She doesn’t talk about it, and he never pushes her.” Then there was the death of her father and fiancé. Kathryn spoke highly of her father and would at times reminisce about their times together. A couple of times she has shoes Anya pictures of him. Then there was Voyager. Chakotay knew from the moment he laid eyes on her that Captain Janeway was something special. From then on he continued to fall for her. Despite his advances, she pushed him away. Chakotay wanted to hug and kiss all her worries away. He tried to make her burden lighter. In some ways, he did but not where it mattered most. He thought back to his brief relationship with Seven. Out of all the things he had done in his life, he regretted pursuing Seven of Nine. When Voyager got home and debriefings, we’re over. Both she and Chakotay went different ways. Guilt punched him in the stomach. Kathryn was introduced to a whole new life, alone.

Kathryn was frowning “darling what’s wrong ?” 

“I’m sorry Kathryn.” 

“For what?” She asked in confusion 

He looked into her eyes “I’m sorry I wasn’t there for you when we got home. I should have never dated Seven of Nine.” 

She kissed her fingers and touched the screen “oh Chakotay that was so long ago, and I wouldn’t change it for anything.” 

Now Chakotay was the one who was confused “what? Why?” 

“Because if we were together when Voyager was back in the Alpha Quadrant. Aylen and possibly Anya wouldn’t exist.” 

He knew his wife was right. “I love you, Kathryn, more than I can say.” 

“I know,” she told him sweetly. 

“Mommy !” Aylen shouted as she ran to the monitor. 

“Hello my sweetheart, are you having fun with Papa?” 

“Yeah! He’s going to show me something today.” Kathryn smiled when she saw how eager the little girl was. 

“Did he tell you what?” 

“No” she pouted. 

At first, Kathryn couldn’t resist Aylen’s adorable pout, but now she was immune to it. 

When Anya saw her sister she began clapping, this caused her stuffed targ to fall to the ground, but she was no longer interested in the toy. “Ayen! Ayen” she squealed. 

All three of them laughed. Kathryn pushed a strand of light brown hair out of her daughter's eyes. “Do you miss sissy ?” 

Anya nodded and started touching the screen. Kathryn grabbed her chubby hand and kissed it “I can’t see dada and Alyen if you do that.” When Kathryn let go of her daughter’s hand, Anya began tugging at her shirt.” 

The older woman laughed trying to pry her daughter’s hand away “I think that’s my cue for to leave. I love you both so so much. I’ll call later okay ?” Before ending the call both her and Anya blew them kisses. 

~

An hour later Chakotay and Aylen walked hand in hand along a sandy path until they reached a cabin slightly smaller than where they were staying. It was reasonably secluded but the area surrounding it was serene and breathtaking. 

“This is where you were born.” 

Aylen looked at her father with curiosity “Is this where you and Mama lived?”

“We did for a little while but a very dear friend is here who I’m sure would love to see you.” He took her hand and led her to the door before knocking. 

An older woman with mid-length black graying hair answered the door. She was short and round. Probably slightly younger than GG. The woman greeted them with teary eyes and a broad grin. “Chakotay, Is that you?” 

“Hi Angeni,” he said softly as she hugged her. Then she looked down at the girl beside him “is that who I think it is ?” 

Chakotay lifted Aylen up “Aylen, meet the woman who delivered you.” 

“Did she help mama like the doctor helped mommy with Anya?” 

As Chakotay answered Aylen, Angeni raised her eyebrow “it seems that you have a lot to tell me, but first come inside. I’ll make you two something to eat.” 

Before he had time to protest Chakotay was practically forced into the small house. “Make yourself at home while I make you both sandwiches.” When Chakotay offered to helped she shushed him insisting that he was her guest.

“Papa tell me about the day I was born.”

He took a deep breath “this is going to be a long story. Are you ready ?” Aylen nodded eagerly. 

“It was early in the morning, the stars were making way for the sunrise. I was sleeping, and when I rolled over, I noticed your mama wasn’t beside me. I went into the living room and found her drinking a cup of tea and rubbing her belly as she stared out the window. Without tearing her eyes away from the view, she told me how beautiful it was out and that it was a perfect day for our little girl to be born. I told her there was no way of knowing that you going to be born that day but Mama said she felt it. She knew you were going to arrive that day and later that night as the sun set you entered the world, and my life changed forever.” 

“Did I hurt Mama?” 

“Of course not baby, she was in pain, but that’s normal. Mommy was in paint too remember ?”

Angeni came in with two plates and two glasses of apple juice.

“I was just telling Aylen about the day she was born.” 

The older woman smiled “I remember that day as if it were yesterday. Your mama was so calm. She embraced every moment of her pregnancy as well as her labor. Of course, Papa was by her side the entire time. The look on her face when she heard you cry for the first time will forever be in my memory. She cried as she held you for the first time, and so did your Papa. You were attached to your mother. Of course, you were attached to your Papa too, but there was a special bond between you and her.” 

“As she nursed you” Chakotay added “she would hum this song, but I could never remember the name of it. All I know was it was beautiful.” 

“ I think I know the song you are referring to.” Angeni got up and went over to her computer to play the song. 

 

_I hope you never lose your sense of wonder_   
_You get your fill to eat but always keep that hunger_   
_May you never take one single breath for granted_   
_God forbid love ever leave you empty-handed_   
_I hope you still feel small when you stand beside the ocean_   
_Whenever one door closes I hope one more opens_   
_Promise me that you'll give faith a fighting chance_   
_And when you get the choice to sit it out or dance_   
_I hope you dance_   
_I hope you dance_

As the song continued, he looked at his daughter and thought about how much she had grown. The young girl was why he kept living. She continues to inspire him to be the best man and father he could be. Aylen has given him the love that only she could provide. As she grows each day, his daughter gives him with so much strength and happiness. He held her close as they both listened to the lyrics. 

Aylen is why he gave faith a fighting chance.


	5. Inner Conflict

Yay! Kathryn said as she heard her daughter use the potty “you did it, sweetheart!” Anya clapped and held her arms out. After cleaning her, she decided to take a quick shower and get both her and Anya dressed. Since Tom was out of town taking Miral to a parrises squares tournament, B’Elanna invited both her and Anya over, claiming that although she liked the alone time she was beginning to feel too lonely.

Kathryn dressed Anya in a purple shirt and leggings. Then she sat her on her bed before putting a movie for her, hoping it would entertain her long enough for Kathryn to take a quick shower. She kept the door slightly open just to make sure Anya was okay. About three minutes into her shower she heard the familiar sound of Anya’s feet on the flower. “Mama!” She shouted before sitting on the floor with her stuffed targ in hand. Kathryn sighed “Hi Anya girl, why aren’t you watching the movie?” The toddler held out her arms “up mama.” She shampooed her hair as fast as she could “I can’t hold you right now baby, I’m all wet.” The toddler refused to accept that answer and began wailing. “Shit” she mumbled, even though it broke her heart to see the little girl cry, there was nothing she could do. As long as Anya wasn’t hurt she would have to wait. The crying continued while Kathryn finished her shower and dried herself off. Eventually, the wailing turned into tiny sobs. When Kathryn was fully dressed, she went to comfort Anya, only to find her sleeping on the ground snuggling her stuffed targ. Kathryn didn’t know if she wanted to laugh or cry. She moved the little girl to the bed and went to call B’Elanna to tell her that she would come over once Anya woke up. 

An hour later Anya called out for her mommy. Kathryn put down the pad she was reading along with her mug of coffee and went to her bedroom. 

Kathryn sat at the edge of the bed “Do you have to go potty?”  
Anya shook her head and let go of her stuffed targ as she crawled over to Kathryn who picked her up. Kathryn held her little girl and stroked her hair, waiting for her to wake up more. “Are you excited to see Aunt B?” The little girl responded with a nod. When Kathryn went to let go of her Anya held on to her tightly. After her naps, Anya tended to be clingy, so Kathryn picked up Toby the Targ. She was able to get Anya into her car seat without a battle, but halfway through the car ride, the toddler began to cry out for her. 

“We’re almost there my love.” that made her quiet for a few minutes, but she quickly began to cry out again. Only this time much louder. According to the GPS, they were due to arrive in five minutes. Those five minutes felt more like five days. When they arrived the first thing Kathryn did was lift up her daughter. She didn’t even bother to close the car doors. B’Elanna shouted for them to come in.

The women gave each other an awkward hug since Anya was between them. “There’s wine in the kitchen.” Kathryn chuckled “thank god I need it.” When Kathryn went to put Aylen on the floor, she began kicking and screaming. B’Elanna watched the scene with amusement.

“Is she sick?”

Kathryn shook her head as she tried to get her daughter to stop crying. 

“She could just be cranky.” B’Elanna offered 

“I don’t think so. She just napped.” 

“Sit on the couch, I’ll get the wine.” 

She smiled at her longtime friend with gratitude “thank you.” the older woman didn’t realize how much her arms ached until she sat Anya on the couch. The moment Kathryn sat down the little girl was already in her mommy’s lap. A few seconds later B’Elanna came in carrying two glasses of Merlot.

“She’s been doing this for a few weeks now. I don’t think she’s gone longer than ten minutes without me. This is by far the worse she ’s been. Maybe that’s because Chakotay is away.” 

“I wouldn’t worry too much about it. Kids go through a clingy phase. Miral did, it was right after she started pre-school. I read somewhere that apparently, children becoming more clingy when they sense a drastic change. She could just be missing Chakotay. It’s his first time being away from you guys for so long.” 

“Possibly but this has been going on for weeks even when Chakotay was home. Did your article say anything else?” 

The half Klingon took a sip of wine trying to recall what else she read. “Too bad Seven isn’t here,” she thought “she would have been able to give them gigaquads of information about clingy toddlers” Then she remembered it mentioning specific types of changes that affect kids the most. 

“Anya doesn’t go to daycare right?” 

“Nope, she’s with my mom or me.” 

“Obviously you guys didn’t move, so that’s not the problem.” 

Her eyes widened in realization “Kathryn are you pregnant ?” 

Her former captain almost spits out her wine. “What?” 

“Apparently children can sense if their mother is pregnant causing them to become clingy.” 

“ There’s no way” Kathryn answered. “It’s impossible.” She did a mental checklist. Her boosters were up to date, and so was Chakotay’s. They went together and had lunch together afterward. It became some sort of monthly tradition. Her period has been regular for the last few months.

“Didn’t your mom just buy a hot tub.” 

Kathryn was trying to get Anya to stop hitting her with her stuffed animal. “Yeah, but what does that have to do with anything.” 

 

B’Elanna knew she had to tread lightly “Did you and Chakotay have a romp in the hot tub.” 

She could feel her cheeks grow hot. “Maybe” she responded shyly. 

“Kathryn, you know that hot water lowers the effectiveness of the booster right?” 

”shit” Kathryn murmured. 

~

Chakotay was making Aylen her favorite dinner, pizza. She was sitting on the sofa looking through the photo album he showed her earlier that day. Aengini gave her more photos. The pictures were taken when Nara was in labor. Aylen was captivated by a photo of Nara looking out the window, watching the sunrise. She was holding a cup of tea just like her Papa described. Aylen was staring at a photo of her mother who was smiling sweetly at lunch the pink bundle in her arms: The smile was what fixated her. It was kind and beautiful. Her Papa sat beside her. 

“That was the best day of her life, and it was also mine.” He told her softly.’

Aylen tore her eyes away from the picture “What about your wedding day ?”

“That was one of them, but nothing compares to when Mama had you and Kathryn had Anya.” 

“Did Mama want to have another baby ?” 

The question although innocent caused a wave of sadness to pierce is heart. He thought back to the night before Nara left for her expeditions. The family of three were laying in bed. Chakotay was making lecture plans while Nara was reading something on her pad, Aylen asleep between them. She had just turned three. Chakotay looked over at Nara who was stroking the toddler’s rosy cheeks. Then out of the blue, she asked him if he would want to have another baby. He remembered his jaw-dropping and how that made Nara nervous. Chakotay smiled to know she had nothing to worry about. After he got over the initial shock, he was thrilled at the thought of having another child. That was when they decided that once Nara came home, she would stop her boosters and try for a baby. After putting Aylen to bed, they made love for the last time. 

“I’m not sure if Mama wanted another baby.” He lied “I’m sure she would have.” 

Aylen picked up another picture of her parents. They were in the middle of a kiss. A kiss which Aylen had witnessed her Papa and Kathryn share so many times. 

Chakotay could tell she was thinking hard. “What’s going through your head?” 

“I’m confused” she murmured, not taking her eyes off the picture. 

“I love mama.” 

He regarded the uncertainty written on his daughter’s face. “Of course you do. She’s your mama. She carried you in her womb and was the one who birthed you into the world. Your mother is a part of you as you are of hers. 

Aylen nodded as she processed what her father had just said. She knew about her mother and that she wasn’t alive anymore. She had known that for as long as she could remember. When it came to her Mama, she didn’t know much about her. This trip had changed that. Aylen never knew how much her Papa loved Mama up till now. 

“But I love Mommy too.” 

Now Chakotay was lost. “I know, and Mommy loves you too, more than you know.” 

“That’s the thing, Papa,” she told him in frustration. 

“I’m sorry sweetheart I don’t follow.” 

“I can’t love them both !” Aylen blurted. 

“Why do you say that?” 

“Because,” Chakotay noticed her swallowing the lump in her throat. “Won’t mama be mad at me?” 

Chakotay took her into his arms and held her. He reflected on his discussions with Nara and how she said that if he and Kathryn were meant to be and how her love for Aylen was real. It was how a mother was supposed to love her daughter. Chakotay couldn’t tell Aylen about these “discussions” until she was much older. All he could do now was try his best to assure her that she shouldn’t feel guilty for her relationship with Kathryn. 

“I know your Mama very well, and I know she wouldn’t want you to stop loving Kathryn because she isn’t here. I also know that your mama loves you and is with you always. Don’t forget that.” 

Aylen appeared to be slightly relieved. “So she wouldn’t be upset that I love mommy.” 

“No she wouldn’t” he reassured her with certainty. 

“Is the pizza done yet? I’m starving” Aylen exaggerated. 

Chakotay shook his head and smiled “In a few minutes. While I take the pizza out of the oven, you can get some plates.”


	6. Home

“When are we going home ?” Aylen asked as she walked beside her Papa. 

“Very soon, our transport should be here in an hour.” 

Aylen kicked the ground and watched the brown dust rise from the ground. Chakotay knew the wheels were turning in her head but decided to leave her alone to process her thoughts. 

By the time they reached the station, there were only twenty minutes left till the transport arrived. 

“I’m excited to go home, Papa.” 

Chakotay squeezed her hand “I know baby, and we will be home soon.” 

Aylen turned away when she felt tears in her eyes, “but this is my mama’s home.” Despite her conversation last night Aylen was still conflicted. 

This was her home, but she no longer lives there. Do you know where she lives now ?” When Aylen shook her head he placed his finger on the center of her chest “she lives in your heart. 

“I don’t think Mama fits in there” Aylen teased. 

“No she doesn’t, but her spirit does.” Chakotay saw the light in his daughter’s eyes return they were no longer clouded by grief. He knew at that moment he made the right choice by bringing her here. 

While on the transport Aylen fell asleep with her head on his shoulder. He was reading the Newspaper when he received a text from Kathryn telling him it was beautiful in Indiana and when they got home to grab their swimsuits and join them.

~

An hour later Chakotay and Aylen arrived at Gretchen’s each wearing their swimsuits. Gretchen was sitting on the deck watching her daughter teach Anya how to swim. Chakotay put his finger to his lips telling Aylen and Gretchen to stay silent. He went to wrap his arms around Kathryn’s waist, but Anya pointed at him and yelled dada blowing his cover. Kathryn turned around and shook her head before giving him a chaste kiss. Chakotay greeted Anya next by lifting Anya and spinning her around making the toddler giggle loudly. 

“Mommy !” Aylen shouted as she swam over to Kathryn. 

The older woman grinned and hugged her. “Darling I missed you so much! It wasn’t the same without around.” 

“I love you,” Aylen said quietly so only Kathryn was able to hear. In response, Kathryn held her closer “I love you always.” 

Chakotay watched the heartwarming scene unfold between them. He was worried that Aylen may start resenting Kathryn, but he couldn’t have been more wrong. 

Aylen then swam over to Anya and hugged her “hey sissy.” 

“Ayen !” She said happily as she clapped her hands. 

When Chakotay was confident that Aylen would be okay with Anya for a few minutes, he swam back to his wife. He wrapped his hands around her small waist. 

“I’m so grateful for you.” 

She laughed softly “What did I do?” 

“Everything” Chakotay responded immediately. The list was endless. She was his best friend and confidant, she loves Aylen as her own and has given him another beautiful daughter. 

Meanwhile, Aylen watched her father and Kathryn share a kiss meant only for lovers and for the first time she didn’t say “ew” instead she smiled. When the couple noticed Aylen was watching them, they blushed like teenagers who had just been caught by their parents. 

The family of four spent the rest of the day swimming and playing but most importantly they were making memories.’

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is it ! Thank you all for reading, I love reading and responding to comments.

**Author's Note:**

> One of my readers/Instagram followers recommended I write a fic where Chakotay and Aylen spend time together. I'm kind of surprised at the direction it's going in ngl. I'm not sure how many chapters there will be. I love reading your comments and kudos are always nice too :)


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